The SECOND Greatest Crossover Story Ever!
by Julian McQueen
Summary: Batter gets stuck in the sickly sweet power of Edward Cullen, and it's up to Beato and Peanut Butter to stop him.        Based off a series of posts from Desuchan.


There was upon a family named Ushiromiya, which was so greedy that "Beatrice!" was the chant Maria shouted while sacrificing the cows from the last story.

"Uu! Make mama a witch, or I'll kill her!"

This summoned Beatrice and Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter, who told Maria that Rosa could only be a witch if she…

"More like...Golden Showerer..."

Muttered K1 as he urinated on Maria's face, this caused her to not hear the last part of what she had to do to turn Rosa into a witch.

Meanwhile, Rosa, while having sex with Battler, Ross, and Rachael and a flying spaghetti monster, was informed by Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter that K1 was pissing on Maria's face and he need her help to stop him.

But Rosa said, "Maria loves being pissed on." And then Maria was pissed.

And while Rosa and Maris were pissing on each other, Bernkastel and Beatrice began to pick on Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter by holding him down as kissing his groin. This caused the jealous yet aroused Battler to wonder why there is a character named Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter.

"Who is Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter? Why is he named Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter? Why do strawberries taste so damn good?"

Ooishi suddenly appeared, replying, "I'll tell you! It all started long ago in a galaxy far, far away…"

Keiichi was lost in the woods, when Rena began raping him, but suddenly, out from the bushes came Rika and Satoko who were on their way to play, they looked up to the sky and saw Beatrice.

She was dancing the Twist while holding a large, muscular penis, which once belonged to a horse named Battler. Battler the horse was a philanderer who had a harem the size of 3 Rikas.

Later, Takano made some films and became delicious soup. But she tasted like Satoko's anus.

Meanwhile, Beato, Bernkastel, Maria, and Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter were playing "go fish", when Ooishi was Shot for copypasta.

Meanwhile, Eva-Beatrice looked sexy as usual, and minded her own business.

Meanwhile, Beatrice and Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter were bossing around the 2 new characters for episode 7. When suddenly, the 2 new characters were killed, but they came back alive as zombies. Then they were hungry and craved for spandex underwear. They love sniffing it, rubbing it against their bodies, before consuming said underwear. Surprisingly, there was another person who had this fetish, and she is Maria, who was being manhandled by her evil, goatee wearing twin.

Goatee Maria found her twin's fetish disgusting and wanted to beat some sense into her, while at the same time trying to take over the world one 'uuu' at a time. Goatee Maria bitched slapped Maria again, and again, and again, until Musou Rosa came in, shouting, "THAT'S MY JOB, BITCH!"

She then summoned Rika Frudae, who helped her create a cake. It was unlike any other cake that had not ever existed nor will ever exist again. Because the cake gave the consumer of said cake painful diarrhea.

Thus this crappy story ended on a crappy note, until Ushiromiya Rosa started acting like the criminal in a "Law and Order" episode.

This resulted in boners, boners everywhere.

"Damn it, Battler! I'm a witch; not a doctor!" yelled Beatrice.

Suddenly, Flandre appeared and said "I'll suck your cock, BATTLER!"

Battler responded by saying "Sorry, but your whore of a sister is already sucking my cock!"

Meanwhile, Beato paced anxiously up and down Purgetorio thinking of ways to stop Battler from fucking vampires.

She went to Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter for advice, asking him if he knew anyways to stop Battler's addiction.

He responded by telling her that Battler must have sex with Edward Cullen to cure his addiction.

Beatrice sighed before answering, "I don't want my Battler to be sparkly."

Which is when Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter told her: "Don't worry, we'll then get Dlanor to disprove the sparklers' existence."

Dlanor, however, appeared and said, THE SPARKLES CANNOT BE ELIMINATED WITH MY POWER! GOLDEN SORCERER PEANUT BUTTER AND BEATRICE MUST JOIN FORCES WITH BATTLER AND ME IN ORDER TO DEFEAT EDWARD CULLEN! THE FOUR OF US MUST JOIN FORCES OR ALL WILL BE LOST!"

Peanut Butter sighed. "I'll be glad to help, what say you Beato?"

Beato responded by saying, "Okay."

Beato gave a gasp of surprise as she snapped awake from her dream.

She had dreamed that she and the others had suddenly died, but in reality, they camped for the night on the way to defeat Edward Cullen.

When Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter asked what was wrong, Beato responded by saying "This thread fails hard." with a on.

The next day, the group began their journey by killing six random passersby. Beatrice then said, "Everyone must now put on lumberjack clothes. Then we must swing from tree to tree, while singing about the glory of cutting down giant red woods while wearing women's underwear! This is the only way we can defeat our enemy!"

Beatrice then paused a sec and said under her breath, "I just want to see Battler dressed as a lumberjack. I bet his 'larch' is big too."

Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter shouted "Look! There's Edward's castle, but someone's in the way!"

As they got closer, the person was revealed as none other than Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter himself.

Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter twin then asked, "Would you like a cup of tea? My friend Fluffy makes excellent tea."

Beatrice and Delanor ripped the head off of Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter's clone, who was actually Wizard Hunting Wright in disguise.

He paused for a few moment before speaking to them...

"Nipa."

Which resulted in the summoning of Nipa herself.

"Would you like some tea? A meat cleaver? Or perhaps me?" she asked.

At first, Beato thought of asking for bigger tits, but she remembered she had to defeat Edward for Battler's sake. So she gripped Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter's paw and said "There's no place like home."

Then she clicked her shoes together, and suddenly Edward was defeated.

"And that..." Ooshi said. Is why that guy is named "Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter".

Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter nudged Ooshi, asking if he was saying that same story again, and laughed before proceeding to rape Battler.

Then Beato walked in and made breakfast.

Breakfast was a delicious bowl of eyeballs.

Battler and Peanut Butter stopped the rape and ate the eyeballs, which were really candy.

"Hey Beato, can I get a drink here?" Battler said.

Sure, bro." Beatrice said.

She then poured him a glass of monkey brains on the rocks. Shaken. Not stirred.

Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter made a face at Battler.

"You're gonna get a disease drinking shit like that."

Battler stared at Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter, crushing the glass in his fist and cutting his hand severely.

He stood up and continued to stare at the canine sorcerer, but before he could do anything, He was infected with AIDS.

Then Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter put on an afro wig and said, "Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty burger. Beato, ever have a Big Kahuna Burger?"

Battler asked, "What the hell are we doing?" But before the two of them could respond, Rika stepped into the scene.

Thus Rika begin her pirating career. It was a very violent part of her life. Fanboys bragged how other groups were better than hers, so she hunted them down and murdered anyone who insulted her, just like the majority of people on DeviantArt and FurAffinity.

"FurAffinity? That's the place where all my fangirls praise me!" said Goatman.

"What the hell is FurAffinity?" asked Rena.

"It's probably where 'Golden Sorcerer Peanut' Butter came from, considering he's a furry." Rika responded.

Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter, in defense, said…

"Nipah."

Rika yelled, "What the %$^ are you saying my catch phrase! I'm the nipaa goddess!"

Rika then pulled a knife out of her clothes and proceeded to stab herself in the head.

"Die da death easy!" Dlanor-kkuri shouted. "Great ekalizer ish da death!"

Dlanor tried to rape Beato and Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter, but she decided to turn Erika into a brick made out of cow dung and hay. Dlanor than lit Erika the Brick on fire and started making smores for everyone.

Which suddenly brought the attention of Colonel Sanders. Colonel Sanders offered everyone some fried chicken, but Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter refused, causing Sanders to bust a move and bitch slap Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter.

Colonel Sanders then proceeded to jam fried chicken down Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter's throat while yelling. "The spice must flow!"

Suddenly, the 7 stakes staked Sanders in the back and said, "We got your back!"

Meanwhile Erika peed her pants in an attempt to attract Battler to her loliness. But Battler was too busy humping Jessica's leg to notice.

Suddenly, the 7 Stakes each grew a penis and preceded to rape the Colonel's dead body while yelling, "We love the 7 secret herbs and spices! Yes we do!"

Ange asked Battler why he never gave her any attention.

Suddenly COCK.

Beato accidentally turned Battler into a giant penis, then Ange told him she enjoyed his ass a lot and asked for another go.

Battler felt there was something odd about his body. He looked down at his chest and saw his flat chest, but that wasn't what felt odd about his body...

"So Erika, would you like dessert now?" asked Ange, drool dripping from her lips.

"Erika?" asked Battler, confused. "Erika isn't even here."

"I'm talking to her and looking at her right now." said an annoyed Ange, as she looked Battler in the eyes and flicked Battler on the forehead with her finger.

"Ow!" yelled Battler.

Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter and Beato suddenly appeared behind "Erika".

"AS punishment for the 'problems' you've caused," The canine sorcerer explained. "Beato and I took the liberty of turning you into Erika. Enjoy your new body!"

Peanut Butter laughed as the both of them disappeared.

Erika was about to lolrage when Ange jammed it in her butt.

shocked, Erika asked what Ange put in her butt.

But suddenly, Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter yelled, "Why the hell are you sticking me in her butt?"

"But Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter, you are the Erikas and the Battlers and the Anges" said Beatrice.

But is was not Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter that was in Erika's butt, but in reality, it was Rosa.

She was currently in a bit of a spit over Maria's personality.

She was about to go on a shooting spree, when Maria angrily yelled, "I want yaoi now! UUU~ UUU~!"

And so, Beatrice and Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter gave Maria the yaoi she wanted.

Meanwhile, Jessica was stalking Kanon, when Shannon, grabbed Jessica's bum in her hands.

And then 2 girls 1 cup occurred.

Meanwhile, Maria was enjoying Toast and yaoi with mama, when Beato and Golden Sorcerer and Battler arrived on the scene.

Disgusted by the sight of Shannon and Jessica performing 2girls1cup, he turned to the others and said, "Anybody up for a bowl full of chocolate ice cream covered with hot fudge and peanuts?"

"I just ate 500 ml of Ben & Jerries New York Super Fudge Chunk, damn you!" Yelled Lucifer of Pride, before she began to give Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter a blowjob.

Meanwhile, Ooshi and Dr. Nanjo were performing a prostate exam on Kinzo, who decided to challenge Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter in a game of mud wrestling performed by the Seven Stakes of Purgatory.

Which made everyone happy until Juuza claim Ange as his bride!

As usual nobody wanted to claim Seista 45 as their own, Except poster 6700, who then decided to troll Desuchan by Activating the "endless 8" which made the entire story repeat 8 times.

At the ninth time, Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter finally got fed up with the trolling and started dancing.

Then Battler, Jessica, and George began dancing too.

Then Yasu got involved and began fucking Battler, Jessica and George at the same time. But this only resulted in causing Hanyuu to drop a death flag on Yazu.

Which failed epically because Yasu wasn't spelled with a "z".

However, YASU realized the attempted attack on her name and decided to retaliate by sending Bernkastel in with a simple "Nipah!"

However the world replied by exploding from a massive "HNNNNGG".

Meanwhile, at World-2, Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter decided to help Battler out with winning Beato's heart by growing a dick as big as his arm.

This made Beato punch the shit at the Moderator who trolled poster 6128, who dodged the shit and loled at Beato, who made pancakes afterwards.

Everyone ate the delicious pancakes, while celebrating the final defeat of Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter.

After the party was over, the crap hit the fan as Beato changed into her greatest, most evilest mode. This mode was called, "%$# Me Crazy Modo."

But Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter suddenly popped out of Modo's vagina, as no one in this story can be killed so easily.

Modo and Peanut Butter then proceeded to battle a battle of red truth.

Battler. who was aroused from the battle, decided to turn Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter into delicious peanut butter cookies for Maria.

Maria ate a dozen of those cookies, which caused Maria to become mysteriously high. She then started to laugh hysterically while yelling the Santa Witch was going to give everyone a bloody present.

The bloody present turned out to be Beato's afterbirth, which everyone, including Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter, who climbed out of Maria's throat, consumed in a magnificent feast in the Golden Land.

THE END!


End file.
